You walked across my threshhold
"Crucifiction", you said, "is what each one still wants,
but we love life far too much,
to seek the truth,"
Yet I was crucified, and what did it achieve?
I felt the rusted blade
and drank the blodied water,
but what did it achieve? It didn't set me free.
I fasted, wept, and learnt the way to die
and here I am, reborn,
not unchanged, yet the same.
And I was not alone,
I still love life,
I walked away
and did not see the Dust.
You saw the Dust
but could it make you Pure, or Whole and did it come to coax
your untamed Flesh?
Did your tingling, glistening thighs
learn what it is to die,
or was it just some wild, unfettered Passion?
I gained a bag of silver,
for trifles and the like
for secrets that I couldn't help but know
though I could not betray
what others had ordained,
those wheels and ghosts and languid
fresh-stained bedclothes.
If Able sinned and Cain was just a pawn
then where would crucifiction set me free?
I could but Hope, that Born again
I'd be
some passing, fleeting pleasure
that you say you gave to me.
But what did it achieve,
my lonely Death
some worn-out, empty tune
that a peasant woman sang
to relieve herself
or Life's monotony?
Recalcitrant, yes strong enough for two
but was it really called for?
All the pomp and show and ceremony
all the pagaents, twisted flags and morbid words
all the lonesome undertakers and the meddling politicians
can you tell me it was worth it?
Or that it quelled your Pain?
Crucifiction's what we want but cannot have
so we say we want a new, re-written creed
but do you know if this is what we need?
The coal red Dust that I had failed to see
was the only parting gift I left for you
but you wanted crucifiction
you thought me shallow,
incpable of sincere sacrifice.
Though I knew that for you, Death would not suffice.
You wanted Resurrection
and nothing short would do
Though we both know that's not
where the meaning lies;
perhaps the Dust I left was far too much
and the wine of Blood I drank
was nothing more
than coconut split open by a Fall
or a child who wants to watch a rabbit die
or some strung- out song a washerwoman sang.
My crucifiction was fait accompli
but did it change your life
or mould my death?
In three days I was risen
and the Stone was rolled away
and they all seemed so impressed
but was it just a dream? A fake, a noise?
I did it all for You to win your love
to prove I was unworthy of contempt.
And was my Strength a force that feared I'd fail
was it Hate or Love that bade me shift the Stone?
The vinegar, the praying women's Tears
do you truly think they helped me
pass the hour
my Death was fast
they thought me weak
but no!
It was my Hour of Triumph that slayed me.
Crucifiction was a Rose, a Bloody lie
it happened yes, I died and was reborn
but if somhow you had known it was unplanned
would you turn towards the Dark
and loose your Faith?
They nailed me to a Tree, Though I'm not He,
the man who perished was a casualty.
They never meant to kill Gesthemane,
they planned to send the hoards
to Gogoltha
and I was meant to Die in Secrecy,
'tis true they nailed the wrong man to the Tree.
